Why Victims Stay

Most victims of domestic violence actually wish to walk away. Unfortunately, some abusers go to extremes to prevent victims from leaving. In fact, leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence. 

Abusers often threaten to hurt or kill their victims and their kids, ruin their victims financially, reveal their secrets to the world; and they often follow through with their threats. Victims often become helpless and will be left with no other choice than to stay. A recent study of intimate partner homicides found 20% of homicide victims were not the domestic violence victims themselves, but family members, friends, neighbors, persons who intervened, law enforcement officers, or bystanders. It is indeed a very complex situation. 

Other reasons why victims don't leave include:

*Religious barriers/sentiments (the "save your marriage" advocates. 
*Fear of being charged for desertion, losing custody of children and joint assets. 
*Lack of support from friends, family and law enforcement officers. 
*Despite the issuing of a restraining order, there is little to prevent a released abuser from returning and repeating abuse. 
*Shame
*Inconsistency of abuse; during non-violent phases, the abuser may fulfill the victim's dream of romantic love. 

These and many other reasons prevent victims from leaving their abusers. 

Nonetheless, we must encourage victims to seek help. Find a lawyer and get the right legal advice. There are many human right NGOs that are willing to help. Send out messages and ask questions. You will definitely get the help you need. 

#SpeakUPCampaignDay13
EndDomesticViolence 


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