Abuse and Manipulation Tactics

Often, when people think of domestic violence, physical violence comes to mind. However, this is just one tactic that perpetrators use to exert control over their victims. The behavior could look like something very minor, but could symbolize something much more powerful.

There are so many different ways that abusers can ensure that they control their victims; it would be impossible to list them all here. Here are a few that people don’t tend to think of as abusive behaviour. 

  • Gas-lighting: This is a type of emotional abuse wherein an abuser lies or downplays the impact of an event or something they say. It could include phrases like “It’s not that bad” or “you’re over-reacting” or even, “I never said that”. All of this can create doubt in your mind, and the end goal is to ensure that you’re the “crazy” one for ever questioning their behaviour.
  • Isolation: Not only controlling where you go and who you talk to, but controlling what you read, listen to, and watch on TV or online.
  • Over-Protection: Like refusing to let you go anywhere or do certain things because they're “worried” for your safety.
  • Blaming Others: This is a classic abuse tactic. Perpetrators rarely take responsibility for their actions – often placing the blame on you for causing the way they acted.
  • Separation Abuse: This could include forms of stalking, especially after the relationship has ended. The perpetrator will continually send flowers, gifts, or other trinkets, which shows that he can always find you. This can be a particularly effective tactic, because from the outside, the gestures seem kind and caring.
  • Emotional Manipulation: Being on a “roller-coaster” emotionally with them. One moment they're loving, kind and caring; the next they're angry and aggressive. Victims often say they feel like they are “walking on eggshells” in their own home, to keep from trying to set off the abuser. This could also include things like degradation and undercutting your achievements, making you feel bad about yourself.
  • Threats: Making threats to harm your family, friends, and pets (this is extremely common, and is a huge barrier for victims trying to leave the relationship).
  • Financial Abuse: Making sure you have zero control, knowledge or access to finances. Also a large barrier for women leaving the relationship. Often, victims must choose to stay, and live in violence, or leave and live in poverty.
  • Cyber Abuse and Cyber Stalking: This is such a wide topic, and has many different ways of appearing. It can include things like abusers posting your personal information online (address, phone number, etc), spreading rumours or photos, creating fake email addresses so you can’t block him, etc. All of these tactics are designed to humiliate, as well as take away your sense of security and privacy. 
Source: Women's Rural Resource Centre

If you are experiencing any of these manipulative tactics in your relationship, please speak up and get help. 

#SpeakUPCampaignDay4
#EndDomesticViolence

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 4, 2021 at 2:15 AM

    So many forms of abuse that if not careful, you can subject yourself to.for years thinking that it it love.

    ReplyDelete

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